Dear Carly,

Today, I learned a simple truth. Life takes second tries, and in most cases it takes many, many more than that. And, to be honest, I think it's such a simple truth that we often tend to forget it. We live in a culture where things need to be done quickly and one time. We're always rushing from one thing to the next, scared what we'll miss if we don't get swept up into the rushing tide. Our culture tells us that if it doesn't work, we buy a new one. Your car stopped running? Get rid of it. Buy a new one. Your shirt got a whole? Throw it out. Buy a new one. Your marriage is failing? End it. Start a new one. And sadly, this is the culture that I've been raised in. And I can't count the amount of things that I've gotten rid of just because they were broken or they needed a little elbow grease. Except for two days ago. My bed in my dorm sits on top of my desk and my dresser, so I sit underneath it. I tried to stand up, but I was too close to the edge of m...

I have felt alone for a really long time. And it's in no way, shape or form because I have no people around me. In fact, it's exactly the opposite. I have an amazing couple friends, a fantastic family, and now a new group of people around me in my new school. And, to be perfectly honest, I think this is the scariest shit (excuse my language) there is. I'm not depressed. I don't suffer from anxiety. I'm don't have ADD or ADHD. I'm average height. I have blond hair and blue-grey eyes. I dress classy (on sometimes lazy). From the outside, I look like I have everything together. But I don't. Right now, nothing feels together in my life. Like I said, I feel very alone. I've explained this before, but I'm going to do it once again. So bear with me. -- For the past year, I've been struggling. I haven't been able to eat almost anything. I felt like I was starving myself, only because I didn't ever have an appetite. People notice...

Since the death of Robin Williams three days ago, the country (maybe the world) has been on "super depression and suicide awareness" -- or at least my facebook friends have. Everyone's been posting articles about Robin and depression and suicide and whatnot. It seems that my page has been bombarded with them. Unfortunately, we live in a world where depression and suicide are all too real. But I hate how it takes the death of a celebrity to finally bring these things to the spotlight. Depression, at least for me, has been very real in my life for about a little over a year now. But not because I have depression (aside from a smidgen of seasonal I got this winter). Within the past year, five out of my closet eight friends have been diagnosed with clinical depression. It happened so fast, that I started to think it was some contagious disease that I was going to catch. Needless to say, I didn't. But that's the thing about depression. It demands to be noticed. And...

A few months ago, I blogged about my nine months of hell , and I thought I'd give you a quick update of sorts. Well, since April, things have been hard. Still hard. I struggle with my appetite and my face. Both. So for all y'all sakes. I'll keep it short. Part 1: My face is doing alright. In the past few weeks, it's gotten worse, I think, since I've been trying new organic and natural things for my face. I've gone from using mostly chemicals (like Clinque's face cleanser line) to all natural things (whole honey, canola oil, witch hazel, coconut oil, etc.) They have been working wonders. However, it's not enough. I still have problems and I still struggle. I still feel the need to wear makeup everyday to cover the terrible scars that have been left on my face. My new, painful acne has gone down on my face, but the scaring is still there. And, instead of breaking out on my face, my body has found new places like my back, legs, and chest. It's fan-f...

Alright, so I'm really bad at this blogging thing. However, I'm going to TRY my best to keep going again. Something that I'm going to change is what/how I blog. Previously, I've done really long, dawn out posts about deep things. Now, I think I'm going to just write -- my thoughts, deep or not. It's going to be more of a journal. So buckle up, here it comes. ------- Today in church, my pastor was talking about Revelation 21. Now I for one love the book of revelation. I think the imagery is amazing, and I love to hear that God and the devil are battling, but that God's already won. It's a very interesting book, and I highly suggest it. " He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death  or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." This is Revelation 21:4. I think there are some really profound things in this chapter as a whole, but this verse really struck me. Why? Because it says ...